Are Homeschoolers Too Sheltered?

Written By: The Good and the Beautiful Published On: February 9, 2026

Many parents struggle with the question of how much to shelter their children from the difficulties and trials in life. Homeschool families are no exception. Are homeschoolers too sheltered? Jenny Phillips addresses this question and the concerns many families have when considering homeschool in this video and blog post.

Often, in our world today, the concept of “sheltering children” is viewed as a negative thing. Of course, it can be negative if children are over-sheltered, but what if too many children today are not sheltered enough, leading to high levels of anxiety, low self-confidence, and depression?

It’s interesting to me that homeschooled children tend to be more sheltered than non-homeschooled children, yet, these “sheltered” children report higher levels of happiness and confidence. They are more likely to volunteer in the community and to attend religious services.

Sheltering a child is a beautiful and an important part of being a parent.

A house is a shelter from rain and storms.

A tree offers precious shelter against extreme heat.

Sheltering Children

A shelter provides temporary protection from danger. For a child, shelter is a needed and blessed thing. It offers a safe, nurturing, and positive place to protect innocence, avoid damage, and build confidence, faith, and discernment so that he or she will be strong enough to handle more challenges as the child grows.

Trust the feelings that you have. You have been given these precious children as their guardian. If you wonder if you are sheltering too much, don’t turn to the world for the answers or to what other people are doing. Instead, turn to God. We are always blessed when we listen to the gentle promptings of the Holy Spirit more than we listen to the world.

In the Greenhouse

I’m watering seedlings in my greenhouse today. I love gardening, and I see so much symbolism in the plants I work with. For example, these seedlings make me think of our precious children and the care and nourishment they need to grow properly.

People often ask if homeschooled children are too sheltered. They do tend to be more sheltered than non-homeschoolers. Because of that protection and the nurturing environment they have, studies show that they gain above-average self-esteem and social and emotional skills.

Controlling the influences a child is exposed to is a vital opportunity for a parent. It is a beautiful thing to shelter children in places and with people who promote strong values and beautiful principles, and to keep children away from books, media, environments, and peers that are not good influences.

I can’t say that I have always made the right decisions about how much or how little to shelter my children, and you won’t either. We are not perfect. We make errors, but we observe, we pray, we watch, we adjust, and we just keep trying.

I want to share some principles that have helped me navigate the difficult decision of how much to shelter or not shelter a child.

Seedlings in a Greenhouse

These seedlings are protected in a greenhouse, growing in ideal conditions. They are tender sprouts that would not be able to survive outside the greenhouse right now. I’m not going to just take them out one day and plant them outside. I’m going to harden them off, giving them a chance to adjust to the new conditions without becoming damaged by too much exposure to the elements too soon. I’ll take them out one day for a little bit when there is no wind. Then, every day, I’ll start setting them out longer and longer until I am sure they have become strong enough to handle the wind. Eventually, I will leave them in these containers outside overnight. And then, finally, I will take them out of the containers and plant them in good, rich soil mixed with the natural soil in the place they are planted.

You can probably see how this symbolism relates to sheltering. But there is a difference between these seedlings and children. These seedlings are similar to each other, but children are not. What one child is ready for, another child might need many years of preparation.

4 Principles for Deciding How Much to Shelter

I believe the key to determining the right amount of sheltering is to consider four principles when it comes to the people, books, and media your child is exposed to:

1. Does my child have the strength to face the situation?

The world can be so difficult, so dark, so confusing, so enticing, or so harsh. Before we place a child in a harsh, confusing environment, he or she should have discernment and strength enough to match the harshness and confusion. For many kids, it takes years and years to build that solid, sure foundation.

2. There are some things children should never be exposed to.

It’s not that they need to be hardened off like plants to handle it. Just like some substances are poison to our bodies, some people, some books, some media, and some philosophies are toxic. Our children are influenced byallthe people they associate with and who those people are influenced by and associate with. Rather than “preparing” children for being exposed to these things, we are teaching them to eventually choose for themselves to avoid those dangers completely.

3. Children should not directly experience hard things like bullying and painful situations to grow strong.

Sometimes hard situations cause serious, deep damage to a child. Too many children need rescuing and shelter from experiences that are too intense and negative for healthy growth. Trust your feelings and provide safe places for your children when you can. Your heart can lead you to know what level of sheltering each individual child needs and when. Consider this: if your husband were working in an office that had a terrible environment with people who used filthy, crude language and were belittling him, you would never say, “You should stay there because you will learn how to be strong.” We would never tell adults they have to stay in an unhealthy environment because it will make them stronger, but . . .we do that to children too often. I don’t believe that faith-destroying, unhealthy environments are a good place for anyone, let alone children.

4. Children do not have to be dragged through all the ugly details of things going on in our world through movies or books in order to “be ready” for it.

Children who have a diet of books and movies with heavy topics may feel hopeless, depressed, dark, and desensitized. We do not need to fill our minds with the dark and sordid things of this world to be prepared for the world. Our children do need to know about hard things in our world and in our history. But how much graphic detail, and how often? God gave us a book to prepare us for the world—the Bible. It talks about heavy things, but briefly and without much detail. The Bible, overall, is very positive and full of wholesome content.

Books on The Good and the Beautiful Book List can address heavy topics and misbehaviors without heavy, sensational, or extended details. These books do not make misbehavior seem normal, acceptable, or funny. It is important to address heavy topics at age-appropriate levels, but it need not be extensive, detailed, repeated, or dwell on the negative. Overexposure and a focus on wrongs and darkness depress the human soul.

Questions to ask for deciding how much to shelter

How emotionally strong is the child?
What should children never have to face?
Does experiencing bullying make a child stronger?
Are difficult situations in movies and books necessary?

Father and daughter hugging | The Good and the Beautiful

Avoiding Over Sheltering a Child

On the flip side, here are some tips for avoiding sheltering your children too much. These are my personal thoughts, and you should adapt them however you need to:

Children need to have opportunities to fail and learn from those failures.
It can be damaging to avoid discussing sensitive and controversial topics such as sexuality and politics with your children at the appropriate ages.
It can be damaging to prevent children from ever feeling heartbreak and disappointment. Group activities like drama, orchestra, and sports allow them to experience disappointments and work with other people in a protective environment.
It can be damaging for children to not have enough interaction with other children. I believe our world has overinflated how much time that is, but I do feel too little interaction can be a problem, especially as children get older. In homeschooling, it is easy to find opportunities for socializing with other children. Read our Homeschool & Socialization blog post for ideas.

Why it is important to not overshelter.

Children learn from failures.
Experiencing sensitive topics too young can emotionally harm a child.
Children thrive on building positive relationships with friends, family, and groups.

When and How Much to Shelter
When and how much to shelter a child will vary, but do not be afraid to be deeply connected to your child and for you and God to be the biggest influences in your child’s life. I was just reading an article online that claimed that parents need to largely disconnect themselves from their children if their children are going to be able to succeed in the world. I believe that is very wrong. I believe that children can always be firmly, beautifully, deeply connected to their parentsandalso be strong enough and independent enough to face the world, and that should be our goal, not disconnection.

Read Post

I wanted to do this video because I am heartbroken to see how many youth are leaving Jesus Christ and His teachings when they reach adulthood.

To end, I will just say that Noah Webster defined the action of sheltering as defending and protecting from danger. This is why children need parents and why it is beautiful to shelter our children, to protect them, and to defend them. It is also a beautiful thing to be able to set our precious sprouts out into the world and to see them grow strong roots that help them weather the winds and the storms that they face.

Find this and other inspirational and encouraging videos from Jenny Phillips on The Good and the Beautiful YouTube channel. Be sure to subscribe for the latest updates!

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