4 Ways I Fixed Homeschool Meltdowns

Written By: The Good and the Beautiful Published On:

Meltdowns can and do happen in any homeschool, but it doesn’t mean throwing in the towel! In this blog post and video, Jenny Phillips shares four ways you can address meltdowns, including two ways she fixed meltdowns in her own homeschool.

In my own family, my friends’ families, and through piloting with hundreds of families, I know that meltdowns can be a challenging part of homeschool. Children will melt down at home in a way that they wouldn’t at school because they are more comfortable at home. But this doesn’t mean that you should give up on homeschooling. Homeschooling has some unique challenges for sure, but it is also overflowing with blessings.

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As we work for solutions to meltdowns, the parent and the child grow. Don’t give up. It has taken me years to figure out how to fix meltdowns, and I’m still not successful every time. But I do want to share what I have learned.

First, I want to give some brief principles to consider. Then I want to give you two specific things we have done in our home to fix meltdowns.

1. Evaluate Your Child’s Course Level

Make sure your child’s course is not too high or too low of a level. Utilize the assessments that your homeschool company has.

2. Talk Through the Problem

Consider having a meeting with your child. From a place of love and patience and prepared with prayer, talk together about the course or school in general and what makes it hard. Does the child have any solutions? Can you come up with any solutions together?

3. Evaluate the Child’s Use of Time

Next, consider this fact: Large amounts of screen time, a lack of a consistent schedule, or a lack of doing hard things like chores can make it hard for a child to do anything hard or not instantly entertaining. There might be foundational things that need to change in your home, and if those don’t change, it really doesn’t matter what you do; there will continue to be a struggle to do anything the child doesn’t like to do. So if there are foundational issues, such as too much screen time, visit these blog posts for tips on how to limit screen time in your family.

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4. Be Hands On

This is one that actually took me years to learn. Some children need your help more than others. Some kids are not ready for self-directed work as quickly as other kids. Left alone, they can get overwhelmed, even if the work they are given is at a level they are capable of. Some kids just need someone to sit by their side. This is obviously more work for the parent, but I have found that with children like this, I can get them started by sitting with them for a while. Then I excuse myself for some breaks to get other things done, but come back and sit with them again every now and then for even just one to two minutes at a time. This has worked wonders.

Ways to decrease meltdowns

  • Ask: Is the child’s work too hard or too easy?
  • Adjust the child’s workload
  • Talk with the child
  • Pray with the child
  • Listen to the child
  • Reduce screen time
  • Use a consistent schedule
  • Be hands on with the child’s learning
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Meltdowns Happen: Real Solutions

Even great parents and great kids can struggle and melt down with certain subjects or all of school. I want to share some specific things that we have done in these situations. These specific things may not work in all families, but I hope these ideas will show you that you can come up with solutions. All of these ideas that I am sharing came from inspiration after I prayed.

Fixing Language Arts Meltdowns

I had a child who fought doing language arts every day. There were tears and meltdowns and resistance. It sometimes took us two hours to finish language arts. I tried prizes and other things, but nothing seemed to work consistently. After praying, I had the idea to teach this child language arts together with one of their homeschool friends.

This was amazing and incredibly effective! My child’s friend came over three times a week, and we did language arts together. My child didn’t melt down in front of their friend, and they thought it was fun to do it together. We’ve been doing this for years. My child also loved having recess with their friend. I let my child earn extra recess by doing their work with good handwriting, which is something that they really needed to work on.

It’s Not Working—Now What?

If what you are doing isn’t working, and your child continually melts down and resists, you don’t have to just keep muscling through it. Step back, evaluate, counsel with the child, pray, and see if you can find improvements. But know that it might not happen right away. I had tried many things with my child for a year or two until I finally landed on the solution mentioned above for language arts. I also suggest not just giving up and deciding that minimal work or no work is OK.

What to do when meltdowns just don’t stop

  • Regroup and pray
  • Have a heart-to-heart with the child
  • Talk with your spouse
  • Seek advice from a fellow homeschool parent
  • Don’t give up!
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Fixing Math Meltdowns

Now let me tell you how we worked through one of my children resisting math. The child actually was really good at math, but just resisted it. Again, after prayer, I was inspired to put a little whiteboard by their learning area that had times on it. If the child finished their math by 9:00 a.m., which was plenty of time, the child got to watch a learning show after completing math. If the child finished their math by 9:30 a.m., they didn’t get to watch a learning show, but they didn’t have any consequences for not finishing by 9:30. If the child finished by 10:00, they had to complete an extra chore that day before they could play with friends. This worked wonders. 

This child resisted at first, but when they realized that we were being consistent with our plan, the child just decided to do the work without complaining and get the reward of a learning show instead of getting a consequence. 

I also trained the child to talk to me if they were overwhelmed. Then, I would come and often cross out some of the problems, or write the problems myself while the child told me the answers orally. This helped my child recognize feelings of overwhelm and take a more mature approach to overcoming those feelings than just melting down. 

I didn’t nag and I didn’t remind them; it was just up to the child to decide when they wanted to finish. The fantastic thing is, we don’t even have to use the whiteboard anymore or use a learning show as incentives. This is because the child got into such a great habit of just doing the math without complaining. They also learned to express when they felt overwhelmed.

I hope these tips were helpful and encourage you to keep going. We’d love to hear from you!  Leave a comment about what has worked in your homeschool to fix or prevent meltdowns during learning time.

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