How Homeschooling Helped Me Raise Respectful Children

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Raising respectful children today is a difficult task for most parents. In this video and blog post, Jenny Phillips shares how homeschooling helped her own children become more respectful and how it can help your children too. Researchers and counselors are also noticing this positive trend.

Respectful Homeschoolers

Homeschool researcher Dr. Brian D. Ray said: “Many people who encounter homeschool students describe them as unusually respectful.”

I can’t tell you how many times I have seen this to be true in my own life. Of course, there are homeschooled kids who are not respectful, and homeschooled kids are not the only respectful kids in the world, but there is a reason Dr. James Dobson said, “Homeschooled children are often polite, respectful, and responsible—traits too often neglected in today’s culture.” And writer Rebecca Devitt said: “Homeschooled children often stand out for their respectful behavior.”

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“Many people who encounter homeschool students describe them as unusually respectful.”

– Dr. Brian D. Ray

“Homeschooled children are often polite, respectful, and responsible—traits too often neglected in today’s culture.”

– Dr. James Dobson

“Homeschooled children often stand out for their respectful behavior.”

– Rebecca Devitt

Why is homeschooling known for producing respectful kids?

  • Before I answer this question, let me tell you a personal experience. Once, my family went hiking in the Redwoods with another family that didn’t really believe in the concept of homeschooling. After the trip, I received a message from the other family’s father that went something like this: “I have to tell you that your children are some of the most respectful teenagers I’ve ever been around. They were thoughtful, polite, well-spoken, not glued to their devices, and just such a pleasure to be around. Whatever you are doing with your kids through homeschooling—you should keep doing it!” 

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How Homeschooling Has Helped Me Raise Respectful Kids

I think one of the biggest blessings of homeschooling is that children learn through modeling. They are hugely influenced by who they spend time with. The amount of time a child spends away from home in a traditional school setting is often 7 to 8 hours a day for 9 to 10 months out of the year. During those hours, children are absorbing behavior, language, and attitudes from dozens of peers and other adults, and if those behaviors are not respectful, over time, the constant exposure to conflicting influences can dilute or even override respectful behavior taught at home.

Homeschooling doesn't guarantee perfect behavior, of course—but it does make it far easier to influence your child’s level of respect.

1. Model Respectful Behavior

I think one of the biggest blessings of homeschooling is that children learn through modeling. They are hugely influenced by who they spend time with. The amount of time a child spends away from home in a traditional school setting is often 7 to 8 hours a day for 9 to 10 months out of the year. During those hours, children are absorbing behavior, language, and attitudes from dozens of peers and other adults, and if those behaviors are not respectful, over time, the constant exposure to conflicting influences can dilute or even override respectful behavior taught at home.

Homeschooling doesn't guarantee perfect behavior, of course—but it does make it far easier to influence your child’s level of respect.

2. Address Behaviors Daily

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  • A key benefit of homeschooling is the continual, close involvement of a parent. This daily proximity gives parents the ability to observe their children’s behavior closely and address any signs of disrespect or poor manners the moment they arise. Such correction is immediate and comes from the person who loves the child most. Alongside this, parents naturally model important qualities of respect through everyday routines like conversation, schoolwork, and even household chores.

    Over time, children absorb these behaviors, not just because they’re taught, but because they’re witnessed and practiced in real life, day after day, year after year.

  • 3. Guide Social Interactions

    Homeschooled children also tend to have a lot of opportunities to spend time with other adult role models and spend more time with grandparents, and so on. Additionally, parents are better positioned to guide their children’s social interactions, ensuring they build friendships with peers who show respectful behavior. When the dominant examples in a child’s life are respectful, the child tends to reflect those values in their own life.

  • A family of four running through the forest with their backpacks on | The Good and the Beautiful

4. Thoughtfully Choose Good Books

Another powerful aspect of homeschooling is the ability to thoughtfully choose what your child reads—not just for academics, but also for personal enjoyment. Rather than relying on pre-selected school lists that may or may not reflect your values, you can intentionally fill your child’s reading life with stories that model respectful, kind, and honorable behavior—toward parents, siblings, peers, the elderly, and even strangers. Over time, these books shape the way your child thinks and acts. When this kind of reading is repeated year after year, the impact is lasting. It helps develop a heart that not only knows how to act respectfully, but has confidence in doing so.

How Close Parental Involvement Shapes Respectful Behavior

  • Disrespect and poor manners can be addressed immediately in a loving way.
  • Positive behaviors and language can be modeled consistently.
  • Friendships and social interactions can be guided and nurtured.
  • Good character can be modeled in thoughtfully chosen books.
Book List | The Good and the Beautiful

Finding books that are both parent and kid approved is easy on the FREE searchable Book List from The Good and the Beautiful, with a growing list of more than 1,200 titles for all ages!

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